a Description of some Conviction.
Today's messages were both on missions, and in both services I was convicted on how I spend my money. In the first service, a missionary was giving a testimony on his work with a people group in South America. He said that one of the native locals once told him what the difference between the American culture and his own. He said to him,
"You measure wealth by how much you accumulate. We measure wealth by how much we give away."
That statement really made me think. I am always thinking about the next best thing I can buy, rather than the next way that I can bless someone with charity. Afterwards in the college service, we had a guest speaker. She was a professor from Calvin Theological Seminary. She said that sometimes when we pray for things, we are the answer to that very own prayer. She told a story of Hudson Taylor...
After concluding his last service at 10 p.m., a poor man came and asked Hudson to come and pray for his wife who was dying. On the way, Hudson asked why the man hadn't called the priest, as he was evidently Irish. The man said he had, but the priest demanded eighteen pence before he would come, and the poor man had no money. The family was starving.
Immediately it occurred to Hudson that all he had in the world was one solitary coin, and although he had sufficient for late supper and breakfast, he certainly had nothing for dinner or the rest of the expenses of the coming week. He thought, "If I only had two shilling pieces and a sixpence, how gladly would I give these poor people a shilling."
To part with the half-crown coin was far from his thoughts. He little dreamed the truth of the matter was simply that he could trust God plus one shilling and a sixpence, but was not prepared to trust Him only, without any money in his pocket.
Hudson was led into a courtyard up a miserable flight of steps into a wretched room. What a sight presented itself! Four or five children stood around, their sunken cheeks telling unmistakably of slow starvation. On a pallet lay a poor exhausted woman with a tiny infant 36 hours old moaning rather than crying at her side.
Hudson thought, "I would gladly give them one shilling and sixpence and just keep a shilling for myself if I only had this half- crown in smaller change." But still a persistent unbelief prevented him from obeying the impulse to relieve their distress at the cost of all that he possessed.
It was not strange that he was unable to say much to comfort them. He began to tell them, however, that they must not be cast down, and even though their circumstances were very distressing, there was a kind and loving Father in Heaven. But something within him cried, "You hypocrite. You are telling these poor unconverted people about a kind and loving Heavenly Father, but you are not prepared to trust Him without your half-crown."
Hudson nearly choked. How gladly he would have given them two shillings and only kept a sixpence for himself. But he was not prepared to fully trust God!
"You asked me to come and pray for your wife," Hudson said. "Let us pray." Usually, he never knew any lack of words when in prayer; it was a most delightsome time. So he knelt down.
But as soon as he opened his mouth and said, "Our Father Who art in Heaven," conscience said within, "How dare you mock God? Dare you kneel and call Him 'Our Father' with the half-crown still in your pocket?"
He concluded the prayer, not knowing if his words and thoughts had been at all connected and sensible. Hudson was in great distress of mind. The poor father cried, "You see what a terrible state we are in, sir. If you can help us, for God's sake, do."
At that moment the Word flashed into Hudson's mind, "Give to him that asketh of thee." And there was power in the Word of God.
He put his hand slowly into his pocket and drew out the half-crown piece. As he gave it to the man he explained that while he might have seemed fairly well-to-do, that coin was all that he had, but that what he had told them about God was true. He was a loving Father, and He might be trusted. How the joy flooded back into Hudson's heart! He knew that he could trust God without any sign of human resources.
I heard this story and could completely see myself in Mr. Taylor's shoes. I pray for money to help friends, strangers, those who are needy, when really I have been blessed with plenty of resources to do that. I may complain that I make peanuts as a grad student, but never have I not had enough to live on, and still have much excess from when I worked following college. I was convicted of my selfishness, how I want to help people but greedily horde money for myself. Yet I pray that God would change me, and that I would use my resources to better help those around me.
